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Pizza Guy

+Game Description: A game invented after playing a very long chess game and still waiting for the Pizza Guy to arrive, Pizza Guy is a very comical game to watch or play, unless you are worried about "the sanctity of chess-playing."
+Object: Ermm...to get your pizza. I honestly am not a big pizza-eater, but I do enjoy playing this game very much with freinds who are waiting for pizza. ^__^
+Game Duration: However long you really want it to last or until the pizza guy arrives. You can win in 2 moves or 2 billion. Admittedly, 2 billion moves would probably be a tad long to keep playing.

Rules
1. You must read all rules before playing.
2. Board setup--be sure to set up properly.
3. Checkmate is stacking kings.
4. All pieces can be regenerated if the person says something funny.
5. Any piece can move anywhere (unless otherwise listed in RULES).
6. Pieces can be jumped (as in checkers).
7. If someone walks up and says "I am the pizza guy" or a pizza guy walks up/arrives, the game is over and the pizza guy wins.
8. The King closest to the player is the player's color.
9. Whoever has the most pieces from the other side at checkmate wins, unless the pizza guy arrives (as in rule 7), in which case, the pizza guy wins.
10. While Pizza Guy can be played at any time, it MUST be played if you are waiting for a pizza guy, even if there is no board, pieces, and/or players.
11. You may NOT move the piece in any form of legal chess move.
12. If a non-pizza guy ends the game by statying that he/she is the pizza guy, that person may only do so that one time.
13. can't tag on a tig.
14. Neither player may say "I am a pizza guy."
15. speed = d / t
16. Thou shalt not play this game if thou art ordering Chinese.
17. Bonus points for singing Beatles songs all the way through.
18. This game is not scored in points.
19. Thou shalt not repeat thyself.
20. Thou shalt not repeat thyself.
21. Even if you rephrase it.
22. Not even if you were to rephrase it.
23. Speak like Yoda you shall not.
24. No beavers allowed.
25. If Douglas Adams and/or JRR Tolkien shows/show up, he/they automatically wins/win because he/they is/are the best(s).
26. To test the accuracy of the hygrometer, wrap the instrument in a moist cloth for a 1/2 hour.
27. Soda is good for you.
28. Do not play Pizza Guy while decorating a Christmas tree or lighting a bonfire.
29. Donuts (aka Doughnuts) may not play Pizza Guy.
30. This is how you wear flip flops.
31. Things that glow in the dark are cool.
32. Now that we have the board set up, we can write the rules.
33. If the fire alarm goes of at 1 am and you are asleep, turn off the alarm clock--after all, who can hear the fire alarm over that racket!
34. Pawns may never move less than 3 spaces.
35. Players must behave as though playing Chess (ie, think hard, moves slowly, be quiet, demand that people around shut up).
36. You may NOT eat a light bulb while playing Pizza Guy.
37. Flutes rock, especially Tüdelípänz.
38. Bass clarinets look like geese, but do not migrate in Vs.
39. The only defense against the Poking Ninja is to rub your nose in her presence.
40. The ideal thing to eat while playing Pizza Guy is tea and biscotti (unless one prefers otherwise) unless you are waiting for a pizza, in which case you should not eat at all. Tournaments should specify whether a pizza is being ordered or food is provided.
41. If you at any point in the game insult Pink Floyd, The Beatles, and/or The Alan Parsons Project, you must forfeit 16 of your pieces.
42. It is reccommended that you play this game next to a Chess game.